Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
