break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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