So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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