just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
