Jerry, you need to find god
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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