so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
