By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
