you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
