oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
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I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
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She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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