I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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