Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize