Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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