i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Randomize
