This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
