I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
