You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
