yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
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Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
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I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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