i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
