I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize