Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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