We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
