apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
