im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
