If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
