I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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