I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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