Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
