Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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