Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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