Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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