Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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