I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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