we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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