Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
