And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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