people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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