do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
