i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
