She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
