Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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