like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
PANTIES FOUND
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