can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
