my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's rum buckets o'clock
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
