My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just gargled with NyQuil
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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