I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You smell like stripper and shame
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
