I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize