I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
