she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
