I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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