TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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