Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
