Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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