my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
