He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
