So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
high people should be assigned attendants
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
