At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
