I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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